Can't Stop thinking 'bout him

What should I do???

What am i suspose to do???

Why can't I stop thinking 'bout him??

Aku mendengar lagu-lagu rohani sebelum tidur, agar aku mampu tidur dengan nyenyak. Kini aku merasakan hidup aku dah kembali ke masa lalu. Tidak bernyawa, menjadi seorang yang pemuram. Apa yang harus aku lakukan untuk melupakan dia. Aku menyintai dia suatu masa dulu, tapi kini aku tidak dapat menerangkan perasaan aku akan dia.

What should I do???

Kini aku berusaha untuk focus dalam kerja aku untuk mengelak berfikir tentang dia. Even, lunch hour pun aku meneruskan untuk membuat kerja. Semua ini untuk melupakan dia, tetapi fikiran aku tetap memikirkan dia. Dah la aku ni bukan jenis yang menangis, meluah, tapi aku memendam perasaan aku. Sejak bila aku menjadi begitu lemah???

Semasa membuat kerja aku mendengar lagu rohani agar menguatkan iman aku. Aku boleh menjadi tidak waras sekiranya aku memikirkan perkara ini dengan melampau.

What am I suspose to do???

Make myself happy, contact with girlfriends and sibling...may be that can make me stop thinking 'bout him and other guys around me...My heart keep on bleeding...aku dah sakit, SERIK!!!

CINTA = Sengsara + Sakit ???

The Bitter Heart

Aku masih tidak tahu apa yang patut aku lakukan...the more I think 'bout him and our relationship, it make me more hurt. Aku dapat merasakan tusukan pisau di dada aku. Sekarang ini aku semakin takut untuk berpisah dengan nya, walaupun aku merasakan I'm ready to let you go.

Kawan-kawan aku menasihati aku agar aku dumb dia terlebih dahulu, sebelum dia dumb aku. Tapi, aku tak kuat untuk berbuat demikian...masih cintakah aku kepada dia??? masih sayangkah aku??? Segalanya aku masih tidak tahu apa perasaan aku yang sebenarnya.

Now, I feel that i'm not strong enough to let him go. Even, I pray to God every day to make me strength to face him someday. Last night I told my mom 'bout all those mess between us. She just asking me if I can just leave him (thats mean..dumb him). I cry a river all those week. I become so weak. I think i can't even breathing .

Kini, aku tidak percaya tentand dia(lelaki), cinta, hati dan perasaan. Kini aku hanya berserah dengan Tuhan, dan juga keluarga ku. Adakah aku begitu kejam sehingga aku tidak mempercayai mana-mana lelaki yang hadir dalam hati ku?Adakah aku salah kerana menyamakan semua lelaki kerana seorang lelaki? Ya Tuhan, bantulah hamba-Mu ini...ampunilah dosa-dosa ku, Tuhan-ku.

EVERYTIME

Notice me Take my hand

Why are we,

Strangers when,

Our love is strong?

Why carry on

Without me?

Everytime I try

To fly I fall

Without my wings

I feel so small I guess I need you baby

And everytime I see

You in my dreams

I see your face

It's haunting meI guess I need you baby

I make believe

That you are here

It's the only way

I see clear

What have I done?

You seem to move on easy

n' everytime I try

To fly I fall

Without my wings

I feel so small

I guess I need you baby

And everytime I see

You in my dreams

I see your face

You're haunting me

I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain

Please forgive me

My weakness caused you pain

And this song's my sorry

Oooh...

At night I pray

That soon your face will fade away

And Everytime I try

To fly I fall

Without my wings

I feel so small I guess I need you baby

And everytime I seeYou in my dreams

I see your face

You're haunting me I guess I need you baby

I gOt nice FOoD heRe...

Hehehe....let me tell you my nice healthy food....

This is...Iban Traditional Salad...

Ramuan :

3 biji tomato (di potong dadu)
1 btg salary (di potong dadu)
Ikan bilis (lebih kurang 1 gengam)
2 biji bawang putih (garlic)
1 biji bawang merah (i prefer shalot because it taste sweet and hot)
3 biji chabai (the small chili..not red papper)
Cuka (lebih kurang 1 sudu)
Limau nipis (it smell gooood)
Daun saderi and ketumbar (hiris nipis)
Garam and black pepper

Cara² :

1. Campurkan tomato dan salary yang dah dipotong ke dalam mangkuk. Campurkan dengan sedikit garam, black pepper dan cuka.

2. Tumbuk ikan bilis dengan garlic, shallot dan chabai. Jangan tumbuk terlampau lumat nanti tak de rasa.

3. Campurkan sekali sambal ikan bilis yang telah ditumbuk dengan adunan (I do not know how am i suspose to call this) tomato dan salary. Perah limau nipis, dapatkan jus limau tersebut.

4. Hiris halus daun ketumbar dan saderi. Sekiranya nak lagi rasa manis-manis pedas, hiris halus shallots (bawang merah).

5. Gaulkan semua bahan tersebut dan ready to eat..Erm...taste like heaven!!! hehe...try now!!!

Baby, are you down..down...DOWN!!

I am drowning...help me...drowning in the deep of Love Sea....Oh...dear...why am i feeling this way!!!!???

Its been 8 month we haven't meet each other...and its been 8 month we doesn't close and romantic like before...how sad...??? sob..sob..sob..T_T

I do not know what is going on between both of us...sometimes...I feel like I WANT TO GAVE UP!!! because the things are getting complicated for both of US!!! ESPECIALLY ME!!!

But....even though A is there for me..but he can't cure this feeling anyway...

I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS HANGGING RELATIONSHIP!!!! It does make me more weak..and weak..and weak...and I'm TIRED of IT!!!

duh...what am I mumble about...

Butterfly around Me...

This butterfly driving me CRAZY....

HUHHH.....again i can feel the butterfly flying around me..i feel wonderful today...i talk to someone really close to me...and I confess...the things that deep in my heart that i kept from last years...



He wipe my tears...he makes me laugh...he makes me always cover by love...but we can't declare our relation until now though we are calling each other "Sayang" and "Dear"...I think I forget bout someone else right now... (still smiling)



He is my bestfriend from now..we always call each other and I feel like a baby by myself!!! hehe...so deep in love...



I kept all those things in my heart...Yeah!! I'm in LOVE with him...but he doesn't accept my heart, because he doesn't want me to be broken-hearted..and he not ready for the commitment.

However, he will took care of me like I want too...



A, seriously..i'm in love with you... ~wink~

To Dearest One Guy Name A.P

This entry bout me and this guy...name A.P

He is my ex boyfriend...and we are used to be love each other...NOW!!! but that my mistake....

I cheat at him...TWICE!!! and it realy hurt him...we still be friend...but lately...he BEING SHOWING OFF!!!! FUCK UPPPP!!!

Dearest A.P,

I know how you feel when i said;

"I love him more" to you last 4 years...

I know you must be mad at me,

'Bi ane...' thats what i use to say.

Last two years, we close again...

make me feel in love with you again...

but again..i did it...

just like Britney Spears's song

"Oopss...I did it again"

I love someone else more than you...

You said "It's ok..."

tears in your voice...

Last year,

we called each other,

when i said i need you back,

you sang the Blue

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word;

i realy can't take you back"

I feel tears in my eyes...

A month ago...

when I look at your Facebook,

something shock me...

"Status: Engaged with V.V"

I just like Justine Timberlake

Cry Me A River

and you'll be engaged in 5 days later.

A lie i didn't have to tell

A mistake that i made

Your broken-heart

I admit it...I am sorry...

Be Ane-wo...

Nega Saranghea-yo...

5 Question of Why about me???

i am a feeling "terrorist"...i don't have any MERCY in me!

Entry nie..aku taip masa aku tengah sedih....

1. Why am i here?

- untuk cari duit..keje je lah kat sini.....

2. Why am i feeling worse?

- doesnt know?? i dont understand what am i doing...

- i think he cheat on me!!!

- get so tired to lots of works...

- CIBAI!!!! The Bising Geng is tooo annoying!!!!

3. Why until now i cant get a really serious relation?

- I DONT TRUST GUY A LOT..I'M NOT CONFIDENT TO DO SO!!!!

4. You get jelouse when you heard your friend married.WHY??????

- FUCK UP!!! DON'T YOU SEE HOW EASY THEY TRUST THAT GUYS??? WHY CAN'T I???

- SHIT! if i ask them to accompany me to go shopping they will said "I will ask my husband first..." and after that they call me "Sorry Vye, my husband not allowed, because he back early today no one cook for him...Bi ane..." WHAT THE FUCK!! WHY IT HAVE BE TODAY!!??

- Can you see..they got CONTROL by their husband at THIS AGE!!! MY GOD!!!

so my answer...I'M NOT JELOUSE...SO WHAT THE HACKARE YOU QUESTIONING ME NOW!!!

5. So tell me why, in paragraph you still have a BAD MOOD?

- I SAW SOMETHING IN MY BOYFRIEND PAGE THIS MORNING...FAT GIRL KISS HIM!!! POST "MMMUUUAAACCHHH!!" AT HIS WALL...WHAT THE FUCK IT IS...OF COUSE I GET ANGRY + UPSET + HURT MY OWN FEELING = BAD MOOD x A LOT

= VERY VERY BAD MOOD!!!

May be orang heran baca aku nye entry nie...aku sakit atie sangat...aku tak tau...dah lah aku ym orang tak layan aku...buat bodo jeee...tau lah sebok wat keje kan...tapi at least jawab arrr aku nye solan dulu.....!!! eeeee tensen tol.....

WHAT THE FUCK IT IS?!